Does it remind you of Vikram Seth’s novel by the same name? I read that book while I was in college. It was such a huge novel, around 1300 pages and it was a wonder how I read it along with my college studies. Well, such was my passion for reading books… 🙂
Well, this post is definitely not a review of that book but a quest for suitable boys which usually happens in most of the Indian households. Unless, of course, you have searched for a bride or groom for yourself.. :-). But, let me tell you, not everybody is brave enough to fall in love and get married. I was one such person. 🙂
Like in all traditional Indian families, the search for a suitable groom started quite early for me. The matching of horoscopes, the talking over the phones, exchanging details would be a part of daily routine for my parents. Photos taken in saree would be passed around. I still have an album full of myself posing in different sarees. 🙂
The search started during my college days. My parents believed that if they started to look for a match for me while I was in college, I would definitely get somebody before it was too late.. We belonged to a very traditional and conservative family, and to get a Tamil Brahmin Iyer boy who met all the requirements was not an easy task, that too for a person like me who is not endowed with good height.. but who knew that I was more under the ground than above the ground.. Didn’t understand? Don’t bother… 🙂
I remember the first guy I met.. I think it was when I was doing my graduation Final year.. When I told my friends that a guy was coming to see me, they were baffled. And, I had a fight at home with my parents also regarding it. When the boy turned up on a Sunday, I told my parents that I will not wear a saree for him. Imagine, the boy came with his parents, his brother, his sister-in-law, nephews, nieces etc.. I guess he did not have a dog otherwise he would have got the dog also.. 🙂..That time, we used to stay in a small LIG flat in Vasant Kunj with just 2 small rooms… It was such a crowd at our small house. The guy was too pleasing but little did he know that I had already decided to reject him.. Haa… haaa.. :-).
After him, came a guy called Sundar. I met him in a crowded eatery in Nehru Place… I remember my office friends ridiculing me for even thinking of marrying a guy with that name… How could I explain to them that Sundar was the name of Shiva and was a popular South-Indian name… anyways, I told him that I had no plans of getting married and we both went and told our parents that we didn’t like each other..
After that, I remember meeting a guy in Mumbai who was working in the US. He had all the accents and he wanted to know if I knew to play Tennis… Ohh.. I never knew that I had to know to play Tennis to get married.. 🙂 Well, now I know the game but i didn’t learn it for him… 🙂
Another boy who found me too short for him..
Yet another, whom my parents thought was ugly.. but imagine, we both struck off so well.. we were talking for more than 2 hours like old friends and then I decided not to marry him… coz his parents felt that their son needs to do MBA, sitting at home while I should go and do the bread-earning.. 🙂 🙂
In fact, my parents started to feel that I had somebody whom I wanted to marry… maybe, they would have agreed to a love marriage too..
There were lots and lots of people I met before I came across the Suitable Boy..
In fact, when I met my husband, we both spoke for only 5 minutes.. I only noticed that he looked dashing in his white shirt and cream trousers. But when he went home and his family said ‘Yes’, I was left wondering.. It had been almost 5 years that this search for suitable boy and the rejections were going on.. We decided to meet again in Udupi hotel over a cup of butterscotch ice-cream… 🙂. We both felt that we were suitable for each other. But, honestly and frankly speaking, till the day I got married, I was wondering if I am doing the right thing with the right guy. We would have hardly met each other 3 times between our engagement and marriage.. and the phone calls were also not that frequent. In fact, exactly during my courtship time, a huge warehouse project was going on in the office and I used to hardly get time to talk to him also. I am sure my friends will be nodding their head too severely on this.. 🙂
After 12 years of marriage to him, I think he was the suitable boy who came at the suitable time and is a person who complements my temperaments.. When I am hyper, he is cool and when he is hyper, well, don’t ask me.. 🙂
Arranged marriages are a part of life in India. Parents try their best to get the best possible match for their children.
Anyways, with all marriages, there is a lot of compromise one needs to do to make it work. And, it takes in a lot of effort at both ends to nurture it.
This post is dedicated to all those people who are still searching for the suitable boy or girl. There is nothing called as perfect match. And, there is no Prince Charming. Even Gods had difference of opinion and we are just mortals.
All the best…. 🙂
Rekha said:
I was nodding all along. 😀
This I must say, is one of your best posts so far. I just loved it. 🙂
And Jijs indeed is the Suitable Boy. 🙂
umagovindan said:
Haaa.. haaa.. Rekha.. I knew you would be the one to nod your head.. 🙂
Bala Sri said:
Well, you guys met 3 times, We didn’t speak much when we met and even dind’t meet up, Sri went to HK just after seeing my and we got engaged the very next day he landed. That’s why I truly believe in destiny …
umagovindan said:
Yeah.. I remember your meeting with Sri, Bala.. Yes, its all destiny.. 🙂
Prameela Rao said:
Having met Rajesh, I feel he is such a wonderful person and having known you since school days, I know you complement each other so we’ll. and u have amazing kids too.
umagovindan said:
Thanks Prameela.. 🙂
Purnima Shankar said:
Hi Didi, Awesome post, i just loved it. This post also shows how independent you are in your thoughts. Thats a great quality. I loved this line “but who knew that I was more under the ground than above the ground.. Didn’t understand? Don’t bother”
This is “THE BEST POST” ever. 🙂
umagovindan said:
Thanks Purnima.. I had this post in pending for a long time.. but after talking about it the other day with you, thought of posting it.. 🙂
Shiny maheen said:
hi di, hope u r familiar with me … friend of Purnima… This post is “,Simply Superb” .loved it like anything. Its all about how we make our married life a success inspite of the differences we share…… loved it. Waiting for many such exciting, interesting and motivating posts
umagovindan said:
Thanks Shiny. And, good to know that you enjoyed my post.. 🙂
indu hariharan said:
hi uma, lovely post..
umagovindan said:
Thanks Indu Chitthi.. 🙂
Subha Krishnaraj said:
O..my god! I am feeling nostalgic Uma! Well written!
umagovindan said:
Thanks Subha… 🙂
Nithya Anand said:
This was an interesting read Uma.. Specially since ‘the gang’ knew your your level of discomfort when it came to the topic of love.. Even though you used to actively participate in all the comments and judgements we used to pass on all the poor unsuspecting boyz😀 !!
But then again.. You had a fetish for tall guys even then😜
You certainly met your destined suitable boy and are blessed with lovely kids too.. More power to you woman 👍
Neha said:
Awesome! just loved it!! waiting for your next post! 🙂
Nihita Nagajayanthi said:
one of the best post of your that i have read till now…. ( i have read randomly three or four) Nice humorous one.
umagovindan said:
Thanks.. am sure, everybody has an experience to share, regarding their marriages.. 🙂
G V K said:
Mami, reading it with me, said she enjoyed doing it. Like your presentation.
umagovindan said:
Thanks Mama and Mami… 🙂